34: What a year!

2020: I was bringing in the new year at a friend’s house we were watching the Burj Khalifa, and I remember saying to myself what a disappointment it was, and I said hope the new year would have some more tick than the disappointment of the laser show. Well, 2020 didn’t disappoint. It ensured a roller coaster ride, frightening, unpredictable, adrenaline highs, fear, thrill all rolled in together.

On March 9, sadly, my sweet mother-in-law passed away. She had dementia and was slipping away slowly, but her passing came as a shock. We were very close. I spent more time with her than I did with my mom. Knowing she had passed so peacefully was a big relief. My husband Zeheer and I decided to leave for Mumbai immediately. Zara, our 23-year-old daughter, has Dravets Syndrome a rare form of epilepsy. Since the Covid scare had recently surfaced, we decided not to take Zara to India and expose her unnecessarily. She stayed back with Sawaswati, our wonderful Nepali helper. We hoped to return to Dubai in ten days.

While in India, my older daughter Jenai and son-in-law showed us an ultrasound image. I was ecstatic. I was not expecting such good news, and it is every parent’s dream to become a grandparent, I hadn’t felt such euphoria in a long, long time. These were pre-mask and social distancing days. I remember hugging my daughter and thanking her for giving us the ultimate gift.

In true roller-coaster style, next, a friend’s dad passed away in Pune and Zeheer, and I decided to attend the funeral. We rushed back when we found out that countries may be heading into lockdowns. We certainly didn’t expect it, could not believe what was happening, yet here we were at the airport, told that we could not board the flight home to Zara! We saw so many others like us at the airport, sent back. All of us in the same storm!

What came next was something I had not imagined in my wildest dreams. Days would turn into weeks and weeks into months before we got back. I called every resource I knew, but nothing came of it. When the flights reopened, one needed approval from the authorities to fly back into UAE. Our application was rejected five times; we didn’t know why. We were frustrated and anxious to head back and the lack of empathy from some shocked and enraged us. Some asked:
• If I really want to go back?
• Are you trying?
• So many flights are taking off, why aren’t you on one of them?
• Is Zara missing you?
• Are you missing Zara?
• You are influential in Dubai, why are not you using it?

It would be four long months before we’d be on a flight to Zara. Mixed emotions swept us, relief to see Zara, sadness to be away from Jenai.

Having Zara taught me a long time ago, that when one can’t control the situation, one has to accept, let go and go with the flow. An unprecedented time provided an unexpected opportunity we appreciate so much. These are some of our blessings:
• We spent time with Jenai. Being pregnant in lockdown wasn’t easy, but we could be there for her, cook her favourite foods and watch her cute belly grow.
• We drove down eerily quiet streets of Mumbai with no traffic or people. So pleasurable and strange at the same time.
• We spent quality time with our extended family in Mumbai, cooked and enjoyed ourselves.
• Each morning we’d chat with an ever-cheerful Saraswati and see a video of Zara who looked calm. It comforted us to see that Saraswati took care of her so well. We’re blessed abundantly to have Saraswati in our lives.
• Our friends Tanaz and Rehan were there when we needed them most. They took Zara and Saraswati for a drive every day for four months. Words cannot express our gratitude towards them.
• Sujatha, Jana, Nargish and Hoshi, Jeroo, Bapsy and the rest (you know who you are) We’re so grateful to you for all you’ve done.
• So proud that my niece Alysha graduated from RADA.
• We got to see superheroes in action. We watched my brother-in-law Behram, the CEO of Masina, a COVID hospital do the very best he could to support all who reached out to him.
• We saw people stand by each other, support one another, go above and beyond to help another.
• I’ve taught life skills through art to adults with disabilities for ten years. Unfortunately, the organization I worked with was one of the casualties that didn’t survive the economic devastation brought on by COVID. But as they say, when one door shuts, another opens. I continue my creative journey mentoring two amazingly talented artists, my students, at their new studio.
• SFS is a support group that I started for families 21 years ago, and now, as is the norm our meetups are on Zoom. We’ve had special guests join us for the meets and what a fantastic celebrity lineup it’s been: Nitin Mirani, Arshad Warsi, Boman Irani, Johnny Lever, Shiamak Daver, Gulshan Grover and Jaaved Jaafri.
• I follow the Zoroastrian doctrine of good thoughts, good words and good deeds and I feel blessed to have been surrounded by many others around me from different backgrounds personify the same.
• 2020 seemed like the worst year to get married, but when my niece Karishma decided to marry her long time boyfriend Jai, the lockdown had just eased a bit. I initially felt so bad for my Karish, thinking that her wedding was not going to be special – but boy was I wrong! It was one of the most special and memorable weddings I have ever attended, it had all the elements of grandeur and magic.
• We got home to Zara, the tears while I hugged her seemed to wash the anxieties of the previous months away. For the first time in 23 years, Zeheer and I were away from Zara for such a long time. I learnt nobody is indispensable. Even me!
• The best blessing of all was welcoming our beautiful grandson Rehan who warms our hearts and fills our world with joy.

What a year! Our blessings have been more significant than the bumps and I don’t complain about dull laser shows anymore!

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