64: A Year Together

2020 was supposed to be a very special year. The birth of my second child, my son, was due in April. I wanted the birth to be in Dubai, where I live. After the birth, I had planned to go back home to India to introduce our baby and spend time with my family and friends.  In January 2020, the coronavirus news was gaining steam. Around that time, my mother was scheduled to come to Dubai to support me during the last stages of my pregnancy. Even though skeptical about coming, as she would never consider leaving my father back home alone for an extended period, she arrived in Dubai in February 2020 for one month. Many countries were locking down. However, the virus seemed far away, and nobody thought that UAE and India would lock down so soon and so completely.

I have always longed to spend more time with my mother as I have always been a mama’s girl. I left home in my early twenties, and something about that departure felt incomplete.  Suddenly, when the lockdown took place, what was supposed to be a month became an extended stay for six months for her!  I will always remember this as a beautiful time spent with her. Waking up every morning to the smell of incense sticks and the sounds of my mom praying at our little temple followed by Indian breakfast (and not bread and jam or cereals) cooked by her was something that I knew as as “home” when i was growing up, and i was so happy that my children were experiencing that too! Also, my mom discovered that both she and my father coped better than they thought they would, which was a relief for all of us, I suspect, being surrounded by grandchildren all day long , had played a part in it too.  Since we could not go to India as planned, after my mom left, my husband’s parents also visited us in Dubai for three months, and the joy in their hearts was very evident from the smiles on their faces. In  short, while people all over the world missed seeing their families for a whole year, we were blessed with nine whole months with our parents, which usually is only a dream being an expat. It was such an unexpected opportunity to stay together and indeed has brought us closer together as a family.

Around the time my son was due birth, my daughter was starting nursery, and I wondered how I would manage with two kids.  I was also feeling sad for my daughter since she had been the centre of attention, and suddenly, a new baby was going to join us; I was very apprehensive of how I would look after two kids on my own. But my worries were unwarranted; with the grandparents around, everything was smooth and easy. Even though no one was used to seeing so much of each other, everything worked out well.

As a bonus, my husband, who is usually very busy and would travel a lot, was forced to work from home due to Covid. He never imagined that he would be more productive at work, working from home, yet he feels he is. He tells me he’s happier because he can take breaks to spend time with the family and have meals with us.  And of course, he could spend a lot of time with our son! Overall, the past year has been a beautiful year for me, and I’m so grateful for my blessings.

Obviously, like all years, there were ups, and there were downs.  I lost two beings very dear to me. One of my closest friends passed away with a heart attack yet I couldn’t go to bid him a final goodbye, and one of my dogs died the same night my son was born.  Although these weren’t because of Covid, the circumstances of the lockdown meant my dog was stuck at home and couldn’t get proper treatment.  I know he was suffering, and he is in a much better place right now, but I cannot help but think of what might have been. I have always believed in the mantra “accept, adapt and move on”, and I think the year 2020 wholly reinforced this saying for me. 

The one thing I’ve no doubts about, though, is how people have shown up for one another during the pandemic.  I saw much of this in the building where I live and the support my father received back home as he was home alone — bringing neighbours’ groceries, calling people, checking in on them and helping in whatever way possible. I think these are things that I will carry on doing in my life because I’ve learnt that being human is a given but keeping our humanity is a choice.

Co-written with Rehan and Aalya Sengupta, 14, Dubai, UAE under the StoryBuddy program